I have already made my New Year's resolutions, and in keeping with setting realistic goals I have tried to make them attainable:
A: Don't hit any panda bears with my car.
B: Don't pick up auto-erotic asphyxiation as a new hobby.
I'm pretty sure I can make those work for me, so as a service to my students I have also decided to set some resolutions for the new incoming class:
1: Read the Constitution. Hint - it doesn't start "Fourscore and seven years ago...."
2: Understand that when Bill says to read something, he actually expects you to read it. Worse than that, he expects you to actually learn from reading it.
3: Realize that exercise never killed anyone. Well, actually, it has, but statistically the odds are pretty low and if you use some sense you probably won't die. Therefore:
4: Don't spend breaks from a class during which you spent an hour sitting on your butt in a chair sitting on your butt in a different chair. It's OK to actually move.
5: If backup guns and spare tires are smart things to have, so are backup and spare alarm clocks.
6: Have a piece of paper and writing instrument at all times. It's a class rule. Bill is not amused when he tells someone to remember something and they ask him to "borrow" something to write it with, and something to write it down on.
7: Cell phones aren't life support systems. You'll survive going a day without using one.
8: Resolve to spend more effort figuring out how to accomplish something instead of trying to come up with reasons that you can't do it.
