What I Learned in Las Vegas

• To get the thrill of slots without leaving home, think of a number.  Then think of a different number.  If they are different, burn a dollar bill.  Repeat.
• The waitress isn't giving you free drinks because she likes you.
• The Atomic Testing Museum is a blast.  Get it?  A "blast." Like an atomic bomb blast.  Really.
• I ate raw meat, and raw fish.  It cost a lot, which meant it was really good.  As opposed to gnawing on a raw squirrel or a bluegill from Lake Hope, which would be really bad, plus you could get Mad Squirrel Disease.
• I thought I lost an arch support, but had actually left it at home.  That's too bad, it'd be cool trying to come up with a story to explain how I went to Vegas and lost one arch support.
• You can't come off as a badass in a rented Kia HamsterMobile.
• The Bellagio fountains make damning the Colorado River with the Hoover dam, drowning a number of towns and culturally significant sites, creating a leaky Lake Mead, and totally altering the Southwestern watershed, worth it.  Well, not really, but they do drop the air temperature a couple degrees.
• The bath towels in the hotel were 180 grit.
• Speaking of which, Vegas hotel rooms are obviously designed so that you want to spend as little time as possible in them.
• I'm creating my own personal EOD unit so that somehow I can work this into a patch design: